That Funny Little Mission
by Secret Identity 72
Summary: Meet the not-so almighty Captain Rav, who's luck is kinda crazy. When she and her friends are ordered by the Control Brain to work with their enemy, Captain Gak, things get...well, crazy. Can the captains work together to drive out the Resisty? Or will they be too busy trying to kill each other?
1. Chapter 1

**(Check out Captainrav (that's me!) on deviantart!)**

As if my life could get any worse.

So here I was, stuck in a garbage masher.

What was I doing here? How did I get here?

That, my dear reader, is a fine question.

Here, let me tell you my story.

This is probably a good time for it too, because the walls are closing in and I think now would be a perfect time for my life to flash before my eyes.

. . .

"The Control Brain will see you now," The guard motioned into the dark corridor.

I gulped, fixed my perfect metal uniform, and walked inside. My seven officers and loyal robot friend were right behind me. I could hear my footsteps as we walked down the hall. I could hear my breathing, which was ragged and uneven.

I hated meeting up with the Control Brain. It always scared me to death.

I looked back at my officers. Kaz smiled reassuringly, and Nez gave me a big thumbs up. Mukflay winked at me, a small smile on her face.

Right.

Be brave.

And try not to act like an idiot.

That last one was going to be hard for me.

I strolled casually into the Control Brain's room.

"Hello, Captain Rav," It spoke.

"Greetings, Control Brain, sir," I bowed down. "I am at your service."

"Enough talking," The Control Brain rumbled. "There's a new mission for you. It is time that you chase off the Resisty from the planet Yagal. They have been a nuisance. It is time that you drive them away."

"Yes sir," I saluted.

"But," The Control Brain went on.

I frowned. "But?"

"Captain Gak has been on this case for a couple of months now. You will be working with him," The Control Brain growled. "Try not to fight."

My heart sank so hard, I thought it would hit my squeedily-spooch.

"Yes sir," I mumbled and saluted once more.

"This meeting is over," The Control Brain rumbled. "Go start the mission."

. . .

"So, we have to work with Gak," I grunted. "This is just great."

"So, when do we take off?" Mave asked.

"Probably really soon," I muttered. "I want everyone to have time to say goodbye to their families. And I wanna say goodbye to Rak, of course. I only get to see him…what? A few times every year? I mean, come on! That's pathetic."

"We should tell the crew," Mukflay reminded me.

"Ah, yes," I nodded. "I'll do that right now."

I pushed a button on the screen on my arm. 'All microphones on', my screen reported.

"Attention, crew of the Blackheart. We have been ordered by the Control Brain to take off for planet Yagal to drive the Resisty away. Unfortunately, Captain Gak and his own crew have been on this case for a couple of months now. Guess who we're working with?" I said.

I could hear the groans echoing across the room. And I could even hear some complaining coming from down the hall.

Yeah.

That's how much we hated Captain Gak.

How do I explain Gak?

Okay…three feet tall of attitude, with a strong hatred for me. I don't know what I did to get on his bad side, but to this day, he hates my guts. I guess I shouldn't let that bother me. And it doesn't. It's just that he really tries to boss me around. That's what makes me mad.

"But, before we set off, there is going to be time to say goodbye to your families. I don't know how long this mission will be. So I'll give everyone a day to say goodbye. Tomorrow, come here at 8:00 A.M, sharp. Yeah, I know. Kinda early. But we need to get this mission over as quick as possible. I'd love to stay and see my son for a while, so let's get this over with. Captain Rav, out."

I clicked off the microphone and sighed.

"We get back from a mission just a week ago! Can't we stop for just a little so I can see my son?!" I growled.

"Well, you've got time now to go see Rak, so if I were you, I'd go visit him right now," Mukflay pointed out.

I nodded. "You're right. Before I go, though, Nez, I have a request."

The scientist nodded. "Yeah, Rav?"

"Make me a machine that'll calm me down whenever I get angry at Gak. I have a feeling that we're gonna get into some massive fights," I rubbed my temples.

"Whatever you say," Nez grinned. He looked at our robot friend, Rabid. "Yo, I could use your help."

"While you do that, I'm gonna go visit Rak," I rose up from my chair.

A few months of Gak.

That was probably my future.

Yippee.


	2. Time with Someone Special

**(Second chapter :D yay! By the way, I.Z doesn't belong to me. Captain Rav does, but not I.Z or the Irken race)**

I could hear laughter coming from inside the house.

Inside was my entire world.

But I was nervous.

What if Rak thought that I was staying? How could I tell him that this was a one-day visit?

I breathed in slowly, then raised my fist and knocked on the door.

Sure, I had a key. I could've easily gotten inside.

But I didn't want to give Nanny a heart attack.

I heard someone coming to answer the door, and I breathed out slowly.

The door opened, and standing there was Nanny. She was a small, red-eyed Irken who had an attitude but was great with children. That's why I trusted her with Rak.

"Rav! It's great to see you!" Nanny hugged me.

Her real name was Naf, but Rak called her Nanny, so we kinda stuck with that.

"How's Rak been doing?" I asked.

"He's been doing great!" Nanny said. "I'll call him out."

She turned around and called inside the house. "Rak! Come out here! Someone's here to see you!"

A moment later, a tiny red-eyed smeet stumbled out.

Yeah…

Ever have one of those moments where you're so excited that you feel your heart stop and your stomach (or in my case, my squeedilyspooch) feel like it was flying?

This was one of those moments.

"Mommy!" Rak ran at me.

I knelt down and held out my arms. "Rak!"

I picked him up and hugged him.

I felt like I was floating, I was so happy. I hadn't seen Rak since…wow. Yeah, I had come back from a mission a week ago, but the Tallest, the Control Brain and I had tons of meetings. I had almost little to no chance to see Rak.

"How's my favorite Irken in the entire universe?" I hugged Rak fiercely.

"Well, some others are making fun of me for being…adopted," Rak said sheepishly.

Yeah, Rak was adopted.

I had found him outside a grocery store (what? Captains have to shop too!), alone, almost dead. I couldn't leave him. Never could. So I took the poor thing in.

Most couples, after marriage, would…how do I explain?

Let's see…

Irkens who want to have kids take empty syringes and draw DNA. Then, they take that DNA and combine it in a Control Brain machine. A couple of months later, a smeet is formed, and the parents go pick it up **(that's at least how I think Irkens have kids)**.

But poor Rak was abandoned.

And he knows it.

I stood up, still holding Rak. "Why don't we go inside? We need to talk."

I walked inside and Nanny shut the door behind me.

Inside, it was warm and bright. It felt safe and comforting. The kitchen was small, a couple of counters, the fridge, some cabinets and an oven. In the same room was a dining set, a small round table with three chairs around it.

I sat down in one of the chairs and looked down at Rak.

"I-I can't stay for very long," I said.

"But why?" Rak asked, his eyes gleaming with sadness.

"I have to take off tomorrow on another mission," I felt my heart break.

"But you just got here! Do you have to go?" Rak's voice made me feel weak.

"You know I would stay if I could," I hugged him. "But the Control Brain wouldn't let me. It might even hurt you if I refuse to do my job. I don't want that to happen. I'm so sorry, Rak. I wish I could stay."

"It's okay, mommy," Rak faked a grin.

But I could see tears at the corners of his eyes.

When one started to fall, I brushed it away with my fingers.

"Hey, don't cry!" I said gently. "I don't think the mission will be that long. I mean, Captain Gak isn't that good of a leader. With my crew in action, we can get this over with in probably…oh…a few days."

"But I want you to stay!" Rak burst out crying.

I quickly hugged him. "No, hey! Don't cry, my little captain! I'll be back! I promise you! And the next time, I'll make sure I'm around for a long, long time."

"You promise?" Rak sniffled.

"I promise," I murmured. "I know that I'm not the best parent. I should be here to raise you. But I can't quit my job. It's permanent. And if I even try, the Control Brain will take away everything that I hold dear to my heart. That includes you, Rak. They'll take you away if I refuse. I never want that to happen. I'm sorry. But I promise you, I'll be back."

Rak listened, still looking sad.

When I was done, Rak looked up at me, and I could've sworn that his sad eyes were making my heart crack into two.

"Okay, mommy," Rak whispered.

"I've still got time left. I have until tomorrow. Why don't we do something? How about hide-and-seek?" I suggested.

Rak nodded weakly. "I'll hide first."

I set him down gently on the floor, then covered my eyes and started to count.

"One…two…three…four…five…six…seven…eight…nine…and ten! Ready or not! Here I come!" I uncovered my eyes and stood up.

I looked under the table, but Rak wasn't there.

I checked both the kitchen and dining room. Making sure that he was nowhere in those two rooms, I walked into the living room, a small room with one couch and three chairs and a TV at the front.

Suddenly, I heard giggling as I walked past the couch, but I pretended not to hear it.

"Huh, I wonder where Rak is," I said, pretending to scratch my head. "Maybe he hid under one of the chairs!"

I pretended to check under all the chairs, even though I knew Rak wouldn't be there.

I heard more giggling as I passed the couch again, but I pretended like I still didn't hear.

"Huh. Rak is really good at hiding. Maybe he's hiding in his bedroom!" I said.

"Hey! Mommy!" I heard Rak call from where he was hiding behind the couch.

I looked around, pretending to be puzzled. "But he's in here! I just heard him! Maybe he really was under one of the chairs and I didn't look hard enough!"

"Behind the couch!" Rak called.

"Behind the couch?" I said. "Well, I guess I could try searching there. But I don't think Rak will be back there!"

I slowly poked my head close to the back of the couch to see behind.

Crouching there was Rak.

He sprang at me, and I caught him, laughing.

I landed on my back, making sure I didn't hurt Rak by accident. I lifted him up high, still laughing. Rak's laughter joined mine.

I was happiest when I was with my son.

But the Control Brain wouldn't allow me to stay for long.


End file.
